2004-02-03 21:31:03 UTC
a wee cry to myself - then another 10 minutes applying
make up so I didn't look like a woman who'd spent 20
minutes crying in the loo.
Sounds crazy, but I've been missing my mum who died
8 years ago. Sort of started last night when we were
watching a travel show on BBC - one of those shows
where they pick someone and give them the holiday of
a lifetime. This time it was a young family - father and
two little girls (aged about 4 and 8). The mother died
a year or so ago. The grandparents had written to the
BBC telling them about the family, so BBC organised
a "fairy godmother" to take them (plus gran to help
out) to Florida, where they went to every theme park
going, the girls swam with dolphins, cuddled penguins,
had breakfast with 4 princesses (I recognised Snow
White and Cinderella but I'm afraid I'm not very good
on Disney movies, the father got to experience a
racing car on the track (driven by a pro) and the family
even got to lead the afternoon parade at Disneyland.
They had fun - but as I said to hubby "it doesn't make
up for what they've lost" (the father had been interviewed
on camera in tears talking about how much he missed his
And hubby floored me by saying "Oh, I think they've got
something much better - they'd never have had a holiday
like that if their mum was alive" and he actually BELIEVED
it - that it was worth two little girls losing their mother and
a man losing his beloved wife just so they could get a free
holiday from the BBC!!
Taking this comment along with his comment a few weeks
ago about my dad "having a much better life now that mum
is dead" it shows how *detached* he's become.
(of course it can't help that whenever you talk to his mother
you get the same conversation about how much pain she's
in and how she hopes she hasn't got long to live)
"Just when you think
the crying stops
It all begins again
You never stop the hurting
the grieving and the pain"